The Hot Edition

Safe Sex Education For Beginners

Safe sex has to be the way responsible sexually active adults conduct their sex lives unless they are in an exclusive and monogamous relationship.

Safe sex does not have to be boring though. Even in school sex education classes pupils are taught the basics about putting on a condom so that there is no excuse for STIs or unwanted pregnancies. Perhaps it might be a step too far to show our young teenagers how to put on a condom with your mouth. Still, it’s a neat trick and you might like to know how to do it so here are the steps. As Mrs Beaton says ‘first get your rabbit’ actually in this case it’s not the rabbit we’re interested in but a condom…so first get your condom, check the air bubble and check its BB date – if it’s passed its expiration date its integrity may be compromised and therefore useless for the purpose of sexual activity. Next, (this has been easy so far, hasn’t it?) open it! Whew! Gently pinch the condom by the tip and place between the teeth so that it looks like you are blowing a bubble. Purse your lips and place them on the head of a nearby erect penis and gently roll down the length of the shaft to unravel the condom with the lips of your mouth pushing the rolled up edges. Hey presto! Condom applied orally.

Meanwhile, having mentioned a ‘rabbit’ you could bring out a little bunny to play with too – remember safe sex is sensible, not boring. A rabbit is more often than not attached to a vibrator so that the clitoris or the anus for that matter depending which way you use it can be stimulated whilst the vagina receives orgasmic attention from the vibrator. Women being capable of multiple orgasms can excite their man with a little bunny show before he does his thing – with a condom covered penis of course.

There are lots of different types of condoms to aid sensation so choose whatever takes your fancy – flavoured, textured, extra sensitive – it’s up to you and your partner.

Sex And The City

There might be virtue in having a roll in the hay in the countryside as long as you’re not a hay fever sufferer but for me sex in the city is the best place any time of the year.

Even if you just go out for a frappucino or a latte in your local coffee bar there are normally people around, customers the barristas who you could spend some time fantasising over while you blow the froth and lick your lips suggestively at the filthy thoughts you’re entertaining. Somehow fantasising about strangers is deliciously taboo. You know absolutely nothing about them apart from their appearance that you’re drinking in and attaching to scenarios you might not even share with your best friend.

Take the cute little tight-assed foreigner I came across the other day. I’m not sure where he came from but he looked Mediterranean, perhaps Portuguese or Italian? Anyway his heavy accent was the first turn on which is why I followed his stroll behind the counter. Given a little lube and some interesting toys I conjured up the pair of us together, me in a teasing set of seductive sexy lingerie and him oiled up and glistening absolutely naked. I entertained the blissful image for a moment or two then I wondered how I would cope with the language barrier we might face. No problem, thought I, the language of love (well, lust in this case) is universal so demonstrating a little bit of work with a dildo should soon encourage him to join in and then I’d show him my toy collection for him to choose something for himself to wear or use on me.

Just as I was getting all moist in my pants I was snapped out of my reverie by the dreamboat bringing me the bill for the coffee I had ordered, which reminded me that my lunch break was over and it was time to get back to the grind.

I was oddly looking forward to it; the grind…there might be something worthy of my attention back at reception, who knows?

Waterproof Sex Toy Wonders

Many sex toys that vibrate are now safely available as waterproof products, which makes then ideal for use while you’re bathing, showering, in the spa, hydro pool, swimming pool, ocean, lake, pond or puddle.

Yep! Once you discover the joy of buzzing while you bathe you’ll never look back. Of course there are the non-battery operated toys that you can use – any of the dildos, dongs, butt plugs, love beads, balls or bullets could provide you with amazing sensations whilst you are immersed. What you do need to be aware of is whether your toy can take the lotions, potions, bubble baths and bath bombs without being compromised; even whilst within you a certain amount of water will enter your passage/s especially if you have something inserted in them. It would be awful to spoil the surface of a toy because you unsuspectingly added some scented oils or bubbly frothy substance that wasn’t compatible as a cleaner.

Anyway – forget sex on the beach, it’s overrated and far too gritty – try sex in the bath with one of the many toys, including the ‘Shower Penis Pump’, ‘Rub My Duckie’ and ‘Bathtime Butterfly’ for more fun than bubbles and soapy lather hairstyles will ever provide. Naked, warm, pink, glowing and moist – you’re body’s just asking for you to lavish some extra special attention on it. It would be positively criminal to ignore its hints. While you have a quiet, private moment indulge yourself for a really satisfying soak and come… (Sorry, my mind wandered) and come out relaxed and at one with the world.

It’s an ideal place to take your pleasure when you’re all gleaming and glistening and the warmth of the water has sent your blood vessels to the surface making you much more receptive to the indulgence your nerve endings will have no problem transmitting to the pleasure centre in your brain.

It’s not all in the mind though, it’s below the water and in your body and it’s absolutely dreamy.

Rabbits, Dolphins and Dildos

The rabbit surely has to be the most successful innovation to sex toys since the advent of the silent vibrator.

It’s called a rabbit because that’s what it looks like. Designs can differ and the ears may be more prominent, the paws might reach up and sometimes it’s facing forwards and sometimes it’s facing backwards. Regardless of which way it’s facing the ears are the main source of pleasure as they sit either side of the clitoris, gently parting the hood and allowing it to benefit from the vibrations that bounce up and the pressure against the rabbit’s head enhances the sensation. A rabbit may also be used for anal stimulation so if it’s the type that is attached to a dildo you have options for its usage – front and back or front and front.

Dolphins are pretty much the same as rabbits only it’s the beak that provides the surface for the clitoris to rub against and the fins at the side can massage the labia too. All sorts of little creatures make ideal shapes for stimulating the clitoral area. Any sort of snout or beak or muzzle can nuzzle close and shudder wildly to give intense stimulation and orgasmic delight. Even a teddy bear, a platypus, a beaver or an armadillo could provide exquisite feelings especially if there is a combination of smoothness and texture to ring the changes that’ll have you writhing in your seat, in the bath, on your bed or at your desk if that’s where you decide to give it a go and grind against it.

You could amass a fantastic collection of animal buddies you will become very fond of that would quickly kick ‘man’s best friend’ into touch or the relegation zone. Sorry, Fido. Fabulous forest animals – hey a squirrel’s tail could be something interesting to try – ocean and land dwellers could all become part of your sex toy box and allow you to have fun.

If you’re a creative type with an eye for design you might come up with your own prototype for other women to marvel at and enjoy.

Sex, Cones and Ice-cream!

Ice-cream vans have cones, and promise so much – things that are slick like creamy, twisty, screwballs and oh so many things that make you think of sex! The wonderful confectionary is so smooth, cool, creamy and godammit – phallic looking. Don’t tell me that when you lick over a lolly or a cone you don’t think of what else your mouth could be doing.

Oral sensation is magnificent – you’ve got taste, smell, touch, temperature, texture and size bombarding you in one sensual hit. My thoughts wander and I must admit, I do play with items in my mouth…should I slurp suck or lick? If I lick should it be in little circles that tease or should I lick in long strokes that go from end to tip or should I lick in one sweep around?  And catching the drips when it melts and licking your lips clean of the ice-cream – phoar!

Oh, I do tease myself with the possibilities and the alternative scenarios that could be playing out. It’s not really that good actually, especially once you go out into the garden to fantasise about the ice-cream or lolly and all you can hear is the buzzing of bees or flies. Buzzing…cones…my mind just wanders.

Then I wander inside and wonder …where did I leave that cone? This time I’m talking about the sort of cone that gives you intimate pleasure. Just like an ice-cream cone there are so many different ways to approach this fabulous sex toy; sit astride it and let it buzz about your nether regions - its amazingly stimulating round your ass or slightly inside your vagina where it can massage your labia and clitoris if you wriggle right or you can place the suction base against a wall at just the right height for you to present yourself doggie style if you really want to drive yourself to distraction.

And…just like ice-creams that you can add extra flavourings and toppings to, this cone is ideal for just the same treatment. Add a little strawberry [or whatever flavour you prefer] warming massage oil or gel to enhance sensation or go for a cool minty crème that will make you tingle. Perhaps a love ball or two, a bullet or an egg, strategically placed to benefit from the vibrations busy being bizzy below and you’re set for an explosive, orgasmic thrill [set of thrills]

Your mind may wonder even more next time you hear that ice-cream van’s teasing tinkle as it comes down your street.