The Hot Edition

Waterproof Sex Toy Wonders

Many sex toys that vibrate are now safely available as waterproof products, which makes then ideal for use while you’re bathing, showering, in the spa, hydro pool, swimming pool, ocean, lake, pond or puddle.

Yep! Once you discover the joy of buzzing while you bathe you’ll never look back. Of course there are the non-battery operated toys that you can use – any of the dildos, dongs, butt plugs, love beads, balls or bullets could provide you with amazing sensations whilst you are immersed. What you do need to be aware of is whether your toy can take the lotions, potions, bubble baths and bath bombs without being compromised; even whilst within you a certain amount of water will enter your passage/s especially if you have something inserted in them. It would be awful to spoil the surface of a toy because you unsuspectingly added some scented oils or bubbly frothy substance that wasn’t compatible as a cleaner.

Anyway – forget sex on the beach, it’s overrated and far too gritty – try sex in the bath with one of the many toys, including the ‘Shower Penis Pump’, ‘Rub My Duckie’ and ‘Bathtime Butterfly’ for more fun than bubbles and soapy lather hairstyles will ever provide. Naked, warm, pink, glowing and moist – you’re body’s just asking for you to lavish some extra special attention on it. It would be positively criminal to ignore its hints. While you have a quiet, private moment indulge yourself for a really satisfying soak and come… (Sorry, my mind wandered) and come out relaxed and at one with the world.

It’s an ideal place to take your pleasure when you’re all gleaming and glistening and the warmth of the water has sent your blood vessels to the surface making you much more receptive to the indulgence your nerve endings will have no problem transmitting to the pleasure centre in your brain.

It’s not all in the mind though, it’s below the water and in your body and it’s absolutely dreamy.

Penis Enlargement Without Surgery

It is possible to enlarge the size of your penis without surgery. Really.

There are many mechanical aids that work on traction to increase the length and girth of your penis. Basically, the penis is stretched and the theory behind the mechanics is that the stretching causes cells within the muscle to split – just as when you undertake physical exercise to build up your skeletal muscles and put them under so much pressure from either weight lifting or punishing repetitive movement, their fibres break and your body uses protein to repair them and create more fibres to cope with the demands. You can’t really make your penis have much of a workout that takes it beyond its acceptable stresses so these mechanical aids do that for you. Gradually, with regular use your penis will increase in size, both girth and length and manufacturers claim there can be 20% increase in size. That’s 1/5th, so if your penis is 5” long you could gain an extra inch bringing you up to a very respectable 6 inches, which is longer than the average penis that researchers now say is 5.8 inches long.

If that sounds like too much work to commit to for noticeable results there are several different ‘sleeves’ available that will immediately provide an increase in girth and very often that’s the element that provides satisfaction for a woman. Long and skinny just isn’t as filling and it only takes four inches to reach a woman’s G spot inside her vagina anyway. If you can position yourself just right and find that magic spot as well as attending to her clitoris in foreplay and during sex –you’ll be a love stud even if you’re of shorter length, as long as you are thick enough. Many of the ‘sleeves’ that you stretch over your penis are rich in textured detail that’s bound to give an extra tickle.

There are also penis extensions you can slip on over your own manhood that look great and feel fantastic – again, no surgery required. You don’t even have to pretend it’s your own; let your lover know you’ve added a bit on to make the sex between you totally for her pleasure. You’re still the one behind it, you’re driving it and it’ll be you throbbing inside her when you come – it’s probably no worse than a heavy-duty condom once you get used to it.

She’ll be so delighted she’ll please your natural naked pecker with such lavish attention using her mouth and her hands you’ll realise you’ve reached a compromise that allows you both to win.

Rabbits, Dolphins and Dildos

The rabbit surely has to be the most successful innovation to sex toys since the advent of the silent vibrator.

It’s called a rabbit because that’s what it looks like. Designs can differ and the ears may be more prominent, the paws might reach up and sometimes it’s facing forwards and sometimes it’s facing backwards. Regardless of which way it’s facing the ears are the main source of pleasure as they sit either side of the clitoris, gently parting the hood and allowing it to benefit from the vibrations that bounce up and the pressure against the rabbit’s head enhances the sensation. A rabbit may also be used for anal stimulation so if it’s the type that is attached to a dildo you have options for its usage – front and back or front and front.

Dolphins are pretty much the same as rabbits only it’s the beak that provides the surface for the clitoris to rub against and the fins at the side can massage the labia too. All sorts of little creatures make ideal shapes for stimulating the clitoral area. Any sort of snout or beak or muzzle can nuzzle close and shudder wildly to give intense stimulation and orgasmic delight. Even a teddy bear, a platypus, a beaver or an armadillo could provide exquisite feelings especially if there is a combination of smoothness and texture to ring the changes that’ll have you writhing in your seat, in the bath, on your bed or at your desk if that’s where you decide to give it a go and grind against it.

You could amass a fantastic collection of animal buddies you will become very fond of that would quickly kick ‘man’s best friend’ into touch or the relegation zone. Sorry, Fido. Fabulous forest animals – hey a squirrel’s tail could be something interesting to try – ocean and land dwellers could all become part of your sex toy box and allow you to have fun.

If you’re a creative type with an eye for design you might come up with your own prototype for other women to marvel at and enjoy.

Novelty Edible Tits and Willies Liven Up the Party

Last weekend we had a party planned and the edible tits and willies made it so much fun. A sizeable group of friends were to come and we were stuck for a theme that wouldn’t cramp people’s style in either their dress code, taste in music or type of food they liked. Hmm…what’s universal and meets that brief? SEX!

Guests were told to bring food contributions that contained as much sexual innuendo as possible. There were penis-shaped pasta salads, pizzas and breadsticks that had been given treatments with trimming and toppings to make them phallic and cakes, buns and jellies provided a vast array of tits in all sorts of guises. There were even pert nipple breath fresheners and peppermint peckers to serve up as after-dinner mints! For those who didn’t like mints, there were fruity little genital-shaped gums to entertain the palate.

Once the tables were filled with all sorts of naughty dishes the fun just got better when our host insisted that you had to describe your foodstuff in the sexiest terms possible. Nigella would have loved it! Sexual innuendo and ‘nudge nudge wink wink’ euphemisms made their descriptions very appealing, the power of suggestion raising the temperature in the room so that the images became more and more daring or bizarre and we were nearly wetting ourselves from gigging so much when anything that had to be drizzled and licked made it nearly impossible to eat the food without being deliberately suggestive and making matters worse.

It wasn’t long before the chocolate body paint and the strawberry one too made their way into the room. It was all very tame but still surprisingly arousing to discover so many innocent areas were erogenous zones – licking the sweet confection from necks and strangely – the inside of the wrists, proved highly popular and quite exciting. Two very naughty ladies took advantage of our host’s stash of erotic toys and made moulds of each other’s pussy in chocolate and of course they were brought in for the guests to enjoy – first of all guessing which mould belonged to which woman and then playing a game with the chocolate pussy as the prize.

Obviously the food revealed those in the company with an oral fixation and it was hilarious trying to eat the dishes without some comment being passed that had you choking with laughter, Honestly, I didn’t know how much ‘pie’, ‘cream’, slurping, licking, sucking and swallowing, gobbling and nibbling [and even spitting cherry stones and olive pits that had formerly been ‘nipples’ on some edible or other] went on.

Everyone joined in with great gusto and although it was no orgy I think when the guests left there were a few pairings off for those whose appetites hadn’t quite been satisfied despite the spread. They were just hungry for more.

Celebrity Sex Toys

Hey – did you know there are celebrities available for you to use as sex toys?

 

Not the actual people but real life-size copies of them as dolls or their most intimate parts cloned for you do the deed with whenever you want. I have always had a thing for Paris Hilton, she’s a bit on the scrawny side, I prefer my women to be real women with a bit more flesh and bigger tits but there’s just something about her that makes her always pop into my fantasies and gets me all hot under the collar and stiff at the thought and just wondering…

 

How pleased was I to find out that a Paris is available as a love doll and she’s not the only babe available in the Super Star collection. Mary Carey, Pamela, J-ho and Penthouse Pet Jamie Lynn all have their charms on offer too. There are pin-ups, centrefolds and porn queens, there’s vibrating, sucking and stroking available in realistic, lifelike skin finishes. I haven’t had the pleasure of these actual celebrities but I have enjoyed the charms of many real live women and I’m telling you, the substitutes do feel as good around you as the real thing.

 

Once I found out what was available I realised it was only the parts that mattered really had appeal for me and I discovered a whole range of absolutely stunning girls who had had their pussy and/or ass moulded and cloned so that you could have a stroke, a suck or blow or a really satisfying banging session just by bringing them out of a can or a flashlight. Lips and clits and pusses and asses were all there; the range and variety was amazing. Who to choose - Taylor Wane, Jenna Jameson, Carla, Carmen or Crazy Daisy?

 

I must confess they do encourage you to do the dirtiest things – I’m all for filth!